I have long stated that I do not have any patience for people who make victims of themselves. People who live crappy lives, but take no action to get themselves out of the trouble they are in. These people irk me. More often than not, they are the people that feel the world owes them something (and by the world they mean me).
I have used a lot of terms to describe these people, some technical, some not repeatable in polite society. Today I came across an article that describes the state as Voluntary Vulnerability.
Surely we have plenty of blame to go around right now as to why this level of distress runs rampant in so many hearts at present, but let’s look at what is really the root of it (as manifested in voluntary vulnerabilities) and see what we can do to reclaim an independent life from these uncomfortable circumstances.
After reading the article I found I have nothing more to say1. Not only has the author defined what drives me bananas in the world (this sense of victim-hood being a good thing), but she has defined the reasoning behind what I am doing.
- I want self-sufficiency.
- I want control over my own life.
- I want the responsibility that comes with the freedom.
But before I could want these things, I had to first find that I did not want to be a victim2. Most of all I did not want to be a victim of my own stupidity; I did not want to make my self a target just for sympathy; I did not want to be Voluntarily Vulnerable.
I said to my mother (years ago now),
I can’t afford to give to charity right now, therefore the most charitable thing I can do is to never need charity. As the years went by, I worked really hard to not need any charity. I was always surprised by how often the opposite was true: people working hard to need charity. Either for monetary gain, or for some need for sympathy.
Much better to be the master of your own destiny.
a strange state of affairs for me ↩
I actually never felt comfortable in the victim role, but I never really saw a different way until I was much older ↩