What it means to be a System or Business Analyst (for me):

Welcome to your new position. Staff, with years of experience and training, in this specialized field, have been frigging things up. You have two weeks to be to to speed, and some idea of how to keep them from doing that.

Here are some notes scribbled on the back of a cocktail napkin; I've given your phone number out, it should start ringing any minute.