Our top three guesses for your English dialect:

1. American (Standard)
2. US Black Vernacular / Ebonics
3. Australian

OK - I can understand this. I speak standard American but grew up in the South, and non-Southerners tend to identify certain traits as belonging to Blacks when they are really Southern. Plus, I've spent about 2 1/2 months in Australia and read a good bit of Australian literature.

Our top three guesses for your native (first) language:

1. Norwegian
2. English
3. Swedish

This confuses me. I have no ties to Norway and the closest I've been to Norway was Stockholm - for one day in 2006.

I read it that way, but after reading a little deeper I came to realize they aren't saying you are influenced by "Norwegian, English, Swedish", they are saying the probability is "Norwegian" based on the grammar you find normal.

The reason I say that is language will evolve in different places in similar ways (independantly). They are not making assertions regarding pedigree, simply listing their best guess.

It's still odd. It's not like the places I grew up or my parents grew up have Norwegian heritage. German, yes. Norwegian, no.

Places don't have to be related in any way to have similar features. Similarly, both birds and bugs have wings... no evolutionary relationship.

True - but still, considering that their FIRST choice of my native language is Norwegian - when English is an option!

To use your analogy, that's kind of like telling a bluebird that based on its features it is most likely a mosquito.

Needs a lot of work. I could see how Norwegian could influence my speech, I'm from northern Minnesota, but not that it's my first language.